Here’s a bold statement: A 12-year-old girl’s outfit shouldn’t spark a debate about patriarchy, Darwinism, and societal shame—but it just did. Hilaria Baldwin, mom of seven and wife to Alec Baldwin, recently found herself at the center of a heated discussion after her daughter Carmen’s clothing choices were criticized online. But here’s where it gets controversial: instead of brushing off the comments, Hilaria fired back with a nearly five-minute Instagram video that’s equal parts thought-provoking and polarizing. And this is the part most people miss: she used pie as an analogy to explain how Darwinism and patriarchy shape beauty standards for women—and why we’re all losing in this zero-sum game.
In the video, posted on January 19th, Hilaria addressed a comment that questioned why she would ‘let’ her 12-year-old daughter wear a white tank top, beige skirt, and black tights. The commenter’s words were blunt: ‘How on earth do you let a 12 y/o dress like this … EVERYTHING!’ Instead of defending her parenting, Hilaria took the conversation to a deeper level, weaving together lessons from scientists, feminists, and ‘super wise women’ to challenge the very roots of societal judgment.
‘Hi, I’m Hilaria Baldwin, and I want to talk about how this comment relates to pie, the patriarchy, and keeping us all very sad,’ she began. Using pie as a metaphor, she explained how society operates under the false belief that resources—whether it’s beauty, success, or love—are limited. ‘We think there’s only one pie, so we’re all racing to grab our slice, knocking each other down in the process,’ she said. ‘But here’s the truth: we can always make more pie.’
Hilaria then broke down what she called the ‘life cycles of being female,’ dividing them into three stages: childhood (‘safe zone’), adulthood (‘not safe zone’), and senior life (‘safe zone again’). She argued that society only deems women ‘safe’ when they’re young or old, while women in their prime are constantly battling for that elusive slice of pie. ‘When we stop pretending there’s not enough to go around, we realize we can all thrive,’ she said. ‘We’re on the same team.’
But here’s the controversial part: Hilaria suggested that women often do more harm to each other through shaming and judgment than any external predator ever could. ‘Wearing a tank top and a skirt and tights—she’s been wearing that her whole life,’ she said of Carmen. ‘So why does it make you uncomfortable?’ She urged followers to nurture young girls into adulthood without shame, emphasizing that open conversations—not Instagram comments—are the key to safety.
This isn’t just about Carmen’s outfit; it’s about dismantling a system that pits women against each other. Hilaria’s message is clear: we need to stop fighting over crumbs and start baking more pies—together. But here’s the question: Is she right? Or is she oversimplifying a complex issue? Let’s discuss in the comments—because this is one conversation that’s far from over.
